So much for being a good blogger. Oh well. I offer no excuses.
I had a whirlwind of a trip to Indianapolis and back. I went to work the day after getting back, so I am quite tired. But I had a really lovely trip. I was a bit apprehensive about returning and for such a short time, but it was worth it and I now have a lot of clarity about some things I have been unsure about for sometime. Here are some revelations/things I noticed while there:
1.) I don’t hate America. This is a good thing to realize. I was rather cynical about the nation and its people while home for Christmas. But this time I was surprised that I didn’t feel the same way. I appreciate more the things I took for granted, such as the diversity, availability of ethnic foods, convenience of everything, insulated homes. Obviously there are some serious things that bother me about the country, but there are some serious things that bother me about Japan. Nowhere is perfect. And as my friend Allison recently said, “It’s nice to be able to return home to where you grew up, and feel good about it.”
2.) In America, the air conditioning in most buildings is way too cold. I was freezing the good majority everywhere I went, including my parent’s house. There is really no sense in it being so cold.
3.) I feel energy-efficient in Japan. I like that I only use the energy that I need. I like that when I want hot water, I must turn on my gas water heater and I will continually have hot water until I am finished showering/washing dishes. It bothers me that electricity and the hot water heater are continually running in American homes whether you are at home or not.
4.) Indiana summers are not as bad as I remember. In fact, they are quite pleasant. I haven’t had so many good hair days in a row in over a year. When I walked out of Kansai airport, I immediately started sweating bullets and my hair turned into a giant puffball. It really is hot here; it is not my imagination.
5.) For as much flying as I have done in the past year, I don’t like flying at all. I am fascinated with flying, yet it freaks me out. I am always surprised when I land alive. And I am continually praying for safety during the flight.
6.) I have changed a lot. This subject could be an entire book, so I will not go into this now. Perhaps a post for another time. This may sound strange, but I especially noticed that I am not as afraid to talk to strangers. Weird, I know.
7.) I miss American clothes. As much as I’d like to think otherwise, the washed out tones of Japanese clothing look terrible on me. I love how American work clothes have no strict standard. Bright oranges and pinks, multi-colored skirts, colorful jewelry, long earrings, and open-toed shoes are perfectly acceptable to wear to work.
8.) If I am going to be happy living in America eventually, most likely I need live out of Indiana. I want to find a place in America with more ethnic diversity, more politically and religiously open-minded people, and a decent population of Japanese people/Japanese Americans. There are many places in the States where I could find such an environment. In Indiana, Bloomington is perhaps the only city where I could find the type of community I am looking for. Indiana University is located there. The University is beautiful. The atmosphere in the town is amazing. There are many cheap, ethnic food restaurants. There are a good number of international professors/students. And not everyone likes the current republican administration.
9.) I need to save more money.
10.) A lot of family and friends were asking me about my life post-JET. And about when post-JET will begin. I think I do a pretty good job of handling the good and the bad in Japan, especially since I live in a remote, isolated place and cannot attend many social functions due to the lack of transportation. I manage to find ways to fill my time, but is this 2nd year going to be enough for me to handle being alone most of the time? Can I handle technically two more years of this? If I stayed a 3rd year would I be content and not go crazy due to isolation? I don’t want to become one of those bitter 2nd or 3rd year JETs who have stayed in Japan just because of the money or because they are afraid of the next step in their life and then they become terribly bitter and hate Japan. I want to leave Japan still happy with Japan. And if I stayed a 3rd year, would I be ok only attending 1 out of a probable 4 weddings of good friends/family members I care about? There is a lot to consider. I need to decide this for myself this fall. Because if I don’t stay that 3rd year, I will need to start the graduate school application process towards the end of the fall.
