Please wear a ring
I unexpectedly ran into Mr. Y today at the undokai. I was very surprised to see him in Kikugawa since he does not live here, but his neice was a participant and apparently he always comes to the sports days. Mr. Y is a teacher at an elementary school I've visted just a few times. He is a good teacher. He doesn't have a ring on his finger. His class was amazingly well behaved and excited about English. He mailed me a box of Christmas origami that his class made me to my home address in America while I was home for the holidays (this is not a normal thing to do for an ALT, is it?). He speaks fairly decent English but is quite shy about it, as to be expected. His eyes are very kind. His smile is amazing. We had an immediate spark. One of the most intense sparks I've ever had. This sort of first-sight thing has only happened to me a handful of times in my life, two of them happening in Japan (Mr. Y and M). Rather strange that Mr. Y even looks like an older yet more attractive version of M. These sorts of moments are very cool and yet very unnerving because you both realize it is occuring and it is mutual. I approached him today and inquired about why he was there. He asked me various questions and was speaking amazing English today. Beyond talking about the day's lesson plan, we had never been able to talk so freely. People were passing by and looking at us inquisitively, but neither of us paid much attention to them. A few of my students even had the guts to stare at us outright and ask if he was my boyfriend. Mr. Y got red in the face, but we went right back to talking. Then alas, it happened...a young girl came and started hanging on him. "This is my daughter." And then I asked indirectly to get the info I wanted, "So is your wife here today?" praying that for some reason the answer would be something along the lines of, "Oh, I don't have a wife." Of course that was a silly notion because the answer I got was, "Oh. No. She stayed at home." Jab of pain in the heart-region of my chest. Exit cue for Angie.
The situation today reminded me of a scene in the movie How to Make an American Quilt. If you haven't seen that movie, I recommend it. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but it will make you think about love a little differently than you did before you watched it:
Finn: You see, what they don't tell us is that marriage is an anachronistic institution, created for the sole convenience of the father who needs to pass off his daughter into the care of another man, like, 'Here, here. She eats too much. Take her off my hands.' You know, now. Now we've gotten our independence that we earn our own living. There's no purpose in being someone's wife. Why can't we love as many people as we want in our life time? Monogamy is really a very unnatural state that's been forced on us for centuries by screwed up religious leaders who are completely out of touch with their own sexuality. You know what I mean?
Anna: Have you been talking to your fiance about any of this?
Finn: All right. Let me ask you this. If you were to choose between marrying a lover and marrying...a friend...who would you choose?
Anna: I would marry my soul mate.
Finn: Who is it?
Anna: He's the only man I don't have a picture of. I don't even know his name. I was in Paris, and I just turned...and...my latest love affair was over. A stranger sat down on my table and ordered me some cake while I cried into his handkerchief. Before long, I told him about my broken heart, then he told me about his poetry and his thoughts on love. The afternoon became night. I knew he had somewhere else to go. But, I found myself asking him to have dinner with me.
Stranger: Look, I already have a dinner to go to...with my wife. This is what I wrote today. As he left, he gave me one of his poems.
Finn: Read it.
Anna (reading poem): Young lovers seek perfection/ Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together/and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches.
Please wear a ring.
The situation today reminded me of a scene in the movie How to Make an American Quilt. If you haven't seen that movie, I recommend it. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but it will make you think about love a little differently than you did before you watched it:
Finn: You see, what they don't tell us is that marriage is an anachronistic institution, created for the sole convenience of the father who needs to pass off his daughter into the care of another man, like, 'Here, here. She eats too much. Take her off my hands.' You know, now. Now we've gotten our independence that we earn our own living. There's no purpose in being someone's wife. Why can't we love as many people as we want in our life time? Monogamy is really a very unnatural state that's been forced on us for centuries by screwed up religious leaders who are completely out of touch with their own sexuality. You know what I mean?
Anna: Have you been talking to your fiance about any of this?
Finn: All right. Let me ask you this. If you were to choose between marrying a lover and marrying...a friend...who would you choose?
Anna: I would marry my soul mate.
Finn: Who is it?
Anna: He's the only man I don't have a picture of. I don't even know his name. I was in Paris, and I just turned...and...my latest love affair was over. A stranger sat down on my table and ordered me some cake while I cried into his handkerchief. Before long, I told him about my broken heart, then he told me about his poetry and his thoughts on love. The afternoon became night. I knew he had somewhere else to go. But, I found myself asking him to have dinner with me.
Stranger: Look, I already have a dinner to go to...with my wife. This is what I wrote today. As he left, he gave me one of his poems.
Finn: Read it.
Anna (reading poem): Young lovers seek perfection/ Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together/and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches.
Please wear a ring.
posted by Ang at 5:08 PM
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